It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
