So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
