im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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