I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
