Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
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