the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
