I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
