if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
