I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
