Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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