hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
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