why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
