Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Randomize
