I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Randomize
