508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
