Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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