he puts the penis in happiness.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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