Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
