dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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