i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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