i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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