Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
How external is "for external use only"?
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Maybe he injected his testicle?
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
