What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Randomize
