And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
