omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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