Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
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