I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
