I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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