I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
