Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Randomize
