pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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