is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
