Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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