Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I feel like death gave me a hand job
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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