LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
