Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
