she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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