out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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