why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
