WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
