i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Dicks are not precious.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
