ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
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