The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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