I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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