I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize
