They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
