U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Me too!
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
