No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
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