We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
