i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
